Round Yon Virgin...
What did Father Shmuck bring you for Christmas this year? Regifted Christmas disappointment. I think one of the wise men originally gave it
If It Bends, It's Funny
Father Shmuck analyzes funny. Funny like how? Funny like a clown, he amuses you?!
EDITORIAL: Nazi Lives Matter
Our first letter-to-the-editor: A white supremacist gives his firsthand account of the events of Charlottesville, Virginia. There's hate
Doubling-Down on a Triple-Threat
Is this a thing? I can't even. Father Shmuck examines how you do you and say dumb shit. Drain the swamp and leak the lizard 'cause i
You are Being Watched...And, You're Not Even Naked
You might be watching that funny video of a cat dancing, but that dancing cat is watching you. Start packing, we're going off the grid a
Welcome to Wiener World!
Is it Eggplant Friday? Sausage Sunday? Man Meat Monday? No, it's just another wiener weekday that leaves everyone rolling their eyes...e
I Almost Canceled This Piece Coz of Jesus
Father Shmuck asks 'what do you mean?' But 'mark my words', 'life is worth living' 'as long as you love me',
Abner, Don't Take the World so Serious
Time for the 7th Inning Yawn. Father Shmuck watched this year's lackluster All Star game and no one can ease his pain.
A Throne Made of Fool's Gold...and Spikes!
Game of Thrones VII is coming to a small screen near you, and Father Shmuck can already predict the outcome: it's all been done before -
How Ferris Bueller Changed the Future...and Fucked Up My Day Off
Ferris has 30 minutes to deliver a slice of cheesy commercialism because Domino's took the day off.