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Movies for Shmucks

I don’t know about you, but nothing gets my gooses bumping more than watching trailers after having gone broke paying for a ticket to see the latest [insert a superhero movie here because Hollywood has been taken over by nerds]. Nothing sells a movie quite like a trailer. The coolest action sequences are spliced together along with some badass, menacing, slowed-down version of a classic rock song, and the obligatory metallic-sounding “BWAMP”, which punctuates the blandest of statements and turns them into something foreboding the apocalypse. A must-see! Take my 20 bucks!

This section is dedicated to the trailers that hype us, scare us, and act as a warning that no good can come of the two-hour version of this two-minute advertisement. Pop the corn and sticky your floors, let’s go to the movies.

Jacob horrified
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