

A Message of Peace
The following is a statement from the Editor which does not reflect the opinions of the Editor or any business or brand owned by the Editor.


Contact, Vol. VI: CHRISTMAS EDITION
Aliens have the attention span to take on Christmas but not Hanukkah. You try eight nights of observation.


4-Star Personality
In just five easy questions, I guarantee I can sum up whether or not we will get along. This scientifically-proven exam will fondle your bra


There's No Biz Like Show Biz...Except Politics
Coming to Broadway this season, never before has there been an international collaboration like this - vibrating with hand-to-forehead Shmuc


Polaroid
A month from this Halloween, a group of uncomfortable-looking Millennials encounter a nerdy camera ghost who is dying to be in their selfie.


If It Bends, It's Funny
Father Shmuck analyzes funny. Funny like how? Funny like a clown, he amuses you?!


FUNN TOWN'S: Spookalaganza
Only 11 days left until Horrorween! Do you have your costume yet? Lucky for you, Funn Town has all the latest cool duds for girls and boys.


Ring-a-ding-ding
Balls come in all shapes and sizes; small balls, big balls, white balls, yellow balls, orange balls, pig-skin balls, white balls with red st


Contact, Vol. V
Aliens have the best Halloween costume: a human being. Now that's frightening.


Bang, Bang...Kiss, Kiss
Father Shmuck says take two 8mm's and call me in the morning. We're all deranged, so why not be deranged and heavily-armed. What a c