BREAKING: Video of Teens Mocking Death of Australian Coral Goes Viral
Breaking News: Florida Teens stand idly by as 500,000-year-old sea architecture dies.
Land of the Free, Home of the Shmuck
Father Shmuck reveals his list of Shmucks-of-the-week. Some are sittin' and spinnin', some are just spinnin'.
Contact, Vol. II
NASA has translated a second set of messages from Uranus. Looks like Aliens are really getting a handle on human existence.
Abner, Don't Take the World so Serious
Time for the 7th Inning Yawn. Father Shmuck watched this year's lackluster All Star game and no one can ease his pain.
7 Freds
The OkCupid questionnaire tells suitors I'm a slutty hippie who would sell one of your organs for a spoonful of heroin. My date is sure
A Throne Made of Fool's Gold...and Spikes!
Game of Thrones VII is coming to a small screen near you, and Father Shmuck can already predict the outcome: it's all been done before -
How Ferris Bueller Changed the Future...and Fucked Up My Day Off
Ferris has 30 minutes to deliver a slice of cheesy commercialism because Domino's took the day off.
Wish Upon
A genie enrolls back into high school to prove it's not out-of-touch with today's youth, but learns that being popular means more th
LGBT Month Factoids
June is LGBT Pride Month. How well do you know a gay? Read 30 rainbow-flavored factoids; one for each day of the month!
47 Meters Down
Mandy Moore and Claire Holt star in this underwater horror thriller about a Fratty shark's quest to spend his last college summer vacati