Contact, Vol. VII
Humansâ relationship with their national anthem is intense. Our favorite comes from the people of Kokomo. That's real catchy.
For claiming to be the âhappiest place on Earthâ Disney is one scary environment. A few
hours in there is like spending days lost in the vast wilderness. We assume itâs some
sort of cruel prison.
What do humans mean âyou canât hitchhike anymoreâ? What do you think Uber is?
The wizards in âHarry Potterâ can make water and food appear out of thin air, but there is still world drought and hunger becauseâŚ
Humans who claim to be good at Crossword Puzzles are simply filling in random words that fit. Weâve been stuck on the same clue for 5 days! What the hell does âH.S. juniorâs hurdleâ- ohâŚitâs âpromâ.
How is tripping skateboarders not a sport?
Humans say âitâs a long story, you donât want to hear it.â But you unfortunately rarely say, âItâs a long story, I donât feel like talking.â
Why do men whistle when they evacuate their bowels? Youâd need a whole brass orchestra to cover that up.
So we want to get this straight. You take one night of the year to drink to the point of inebriation and literally watch a clock? You then get super excited when the calendar follows itâs natural progression and moves onto the next day. Talk about passing time.
Humans who believe global warming isnât real because winter still exists should be removed from their homes and released from society.